Regardless of where in the world we find ourselves, you will experience an environment of individuals or a collective group of people seriously believing they are
Entitled to a different level of services, respect and or treatment.
The daunting question remains:
Question: Where does ENTITLEMENT come from?
Answer: On most cases the trauma go’s straight to childhood where the individual experienced lack of love from parents, neglected by family or neighbours, sidelined at school functions or sports. The individual develops a sense of demanding others to their attention.
They further believe or have an expectation that they are deserving of certain privileges, benefits, or rights. It can also refer to the rights or benefits that are granted to individuals based on specific illusional criteria, such as entitlement due to social benefits, lack of attention as a child or entitlement to certain services based on material wealth, nationality and even religion we have seen these days worldwide.
Let’s explore a brief understanding of common characteristics of entitlement mentality as below:
An unrealistic expectation by people with an entitlement mentality often have unrealistic expectations about what they deserve or should receive without putting in the necessary effort or work. Though questionable to me remains the ‘need’ to and for special attention always baffles my mind as the same type of persons normally have a lack of Accountability and often avoid taking responsibility for their actions or mistakes, instead blaming others or external circumstances for their problems. They have an extreme and illusional sense of superiority.
Individuals with an entitlement mentality certainly believes they are inherently more deserving or special than others, leading to a sense of entitlement to special treatment while having great difficulty accepting feedback. Struggling to accept criticism or feedback, viewing it as a personal attack rather than an opportunity for growth which leads to lack of acceptance and ownership. Their mentality creates an environment that they rely on others to fulfil their needs and or expectations, rather than taking initiative or working towards creating their own success path and structures independently.
The lack of empathy is a result and due to their focus being purely on what they can extract from you and borders Narcissism. Certainly, we know and understand narcistic behaving individuals have great difficulty understanding or considering the perspectives and needs of others, which then leads to self-centred behaviour. Further to this, their mentality creates and environment that they believe they are entitled to resources, opportunities, or privileges without considering the impact on others or the need to earn them.
Characteristics can vary in intensity and has the possibility to manifest in different ways depending on the individual and the situation.
A common characteristic of entitlement mentality related to unrealistic expectations is the belief that one is entitled to receive certain privileges, benefits, or rewards without putting in the necessary effort, work, or qualifications. This can lead to a sense of entitlement to success, recognition, or special treatment without considering the merit or requirements typically associated with such outcomes.
Research over time have proven that an individual with entitlement mentality believes they are entitled to privileges or rewards summarised below:
They have an excessive expectation to achieve success or recognition without putting in the necessary hard work, dedication, or skill development. They truly believe they deserve special or preferential treatment in various situations such as social events, meetings at work and even family gatherings. This obviously gives birth to the person further believing they are entitled to expensive or luxurious material gifts or possession without earning or saving for this. Recently during a couple counselling session, the husband claims every time he wished to be intimate with his wife, he had to buy her a gift. She claimed she’s worth much more that the value of the gift.
In a working environment, there are huge expectations to be given opportunities, promotions and do to as they pleased without accountability for their work ethics and activity by demonstrating the required qualifications, skills, or experience. Once again, that feeling entitled to recognition, praise, or admiration without making significant contributions or accomplishments increases over time and certainly anger or even resignation when not achieved. Quite challenging in work environments as they truly believe they deserve others’ time, attention, or support without reciprocating or considering the needs of others.
Allow me to brief characteristics below:
- Enjoys blaming others with expectation of zero accountability
- Consistent unrealistic expectations
- Unrealistic sense of illusional superiority
- Extreme difficulty accepting feedback, regarding it as judgemental
- Unable to handle rejection, resorting to aggressively verbally attacking the other
- Superior in marriages or relationships – they decide whether its intimacy or cleaning
- Struggle deeply with authority, rules and regulations
- They are constantly comparing their lifestyles to another with a view they are better
When you are constantly comparing your life to another, this certainly leads to feelings of entitlement to what others have or achieve, without considering the individual effort, circumstances, or merits that contribute to those outcomes. It can create a sense of unfairness or dissatisfaction, fuelling a cycle of entitlement and discontentment that hinders personal growth and relationships. Overall, feeling entitled to what others have can have far-reaching consequences on personal well-being, relationships, and overall fulfilment
Therefore, regularly practise pausing at your lives to understand the direction of your journey and know for sure that to create and maintain a healthy mindset, it is crucial for you to create a structure that includes consistent gratitude journaling, increased affirmations, charity and reduce social media time.
For additional information hereon this Mental Wellness Topic or any other, please contact Dubai Life Coach Lee Levy on +971 58 218 4999 or email: lee@dubailifecoach.com
